Fendi can't save ya....

There really isn't a way to be cool AND walk down the aisle of the bus when it starts moving (stop and go traffic)!!! This time the uncool kid wasn't me! It was the lady with the my poop don't stink look on her face, 5 inch heels and Fendi bag. Sorry Fendi can't even save ya this time. Too bad she didn't think it was funny, I learned to laugh at myself a long time ago!

Disclaimer...Pepe Le Pew kind of morning :(

Remember yesterday when I said things have been dull on the bus...well no more....I feel I need to make a disclaimer to anyone I might come in contact with today....I'm pretty certain we hit a skunk!!! Yep, it's seeping into my hair and clothes as we speak!! We didn't just pass one as I'm sure it would have cleared out by now. No, we at least grazed the sucker! It's a bit intoxicating anytime of day but when you are half awake and feeling annoyed by having to function...gggeeerrrr! The bus is about to descend on downtown and we will all disburse and go our separate ways dragging a little bit of Pepe Le Pew with us...it's not me...honest! Maybe the bus driver will write me a note. Like mom used to do for school??

No Toucheeeyyyy!

Oh and another thing...this guy sat by me last week and took up the whole space! I'm glad he was so comfortable in my presence but good gracious! I had to hug the window to keep from touching hips the whole way home. Not my favorite thing Mr. Stranger...personal bubble!!

Old Man Magnet (aka the day I dissed Kenny Rogers)

Yep, apparently that's what I am. Really doesn't matter where I'm at, if there is an older gentleman he's most likely going to try and strike up a convo. I like to think its because I'm refined and sophisticate but I'm guessing its something more along the lines of I actually smile and make eye contact with people (not a big trend among the younger folks in the business world). There are a few gentlemen who I end up on the bus with quite frequently who love to chit chat and will come stand by me in line. As I was just entering the bus I got stared at until I acknowledged this one guy (looks like Kenny Rogers before his scary surgery). But I feel slightly bad because I chose not to sit by him and just did a small bit of chit chat and moved along. Truth be told I wanted to play Ruzzle all the way home and not talk.

Anywho, sorry bus life hasn't been too funny these days. I'm certain it will pick up. I also tried to go back through my Facebook profile to pull my early Bus Diaries but Facebook seems to only show pictures on my timeline and not posts. If anyone knows how I can get to things from last year I posted, let me know. I really think some priceless moments might be list on Facebook limbo!!!

I ain't a killa, but don't push me!

Excuse me Mr. Stuff my entire office in my backpack man...but you just slammed me in the face with your enormous bag! At least look surprised or sorry or something. I'm really not a morning person (really really not) and if it wasn't for the voice of Jesus in my head and heart...you sir would be toast!! I ain't a killa, but don't push me!!!

Hot Tamales!!

I haven't figured out why both the busses and department stores find it so hard to adjust the air temperature daily?? It's Texas, the weather changes constantly! I've only been on the bus a short while and people are tinkering with the air vents that are not blowing anything but warm stale air! People are ripping off layers of clothing already! Praying we arrive before the big girl gets necked! Hope there isn't a riot when the heat insanity kicks in!

Amen, you said it!!!

Dec 3, 2012:
This car was in front of me while I was leaving the Metro park and ride garage...

Catchin' Up

I plan to sit down this evening and go back to the beginning of my bus trips (all 10 months or so) and post all the ones I have put on Facebook in the past. But, until then here are a few starting from around the holidays until now.

Dec. 3, 2012:
You know what’s almost as entertaining as the people on the bus??? Sitting up high and seeing into everyone's vehicles!  So many nose pickers, reading while driving, and today...knitting while driving!

Dec 12, 2012:
Well, things have been fairly uneventful until yesterday.  I have run into this situation a time or two but refrained from posting about it.  But, I have had enough!!! P.S.A. (public service announcement)- It is NEVER ok to fart on the bus!!! It was unusually cruel last night after working late, waiting in the cold in a line a mile long just to have to stand the entire time! Add in there the 20 other people packed in the aisle with me, the smoldering temp on the bus, and my inability to be coordinated enough to stand in a bus while it’s moving! After all of that Sir. Toots-a-lot, I bite my thumb at you!!!

Jan. 3, 2013:
I guess this morning’s ride is a test of my nerves.  Lady next to me is snoring AND tapping her foot.  Bus driver is doing the press hard on the gas, let off, repeat maneuver and did I mention not only does the heater not work...its blowing freezing air!!! I can't feel my feet!!! Counting to ten and taking a deep breath! It's only uphill from here!

Jan. 7, 2013:
I learned a new trick today. If you are blowing your nose as people enter the bus they will avoid sitting next to you.  If being disgusting is all I need to get the bench to myself...I've got this in the bag!

Jan. 9, 2013:
Who knew my bus ride would be even more diet/exercise motivation? My section of the bus is shaking and making me do a slight shimmy - constantly!!! Jiggle, jiggle!!

Jan. 15, 2012:
To the gentleman next to me who won't share the seat...do you know what S.B.D. (Silent But Deadly)means?? You are about to!!!

Well, You Asked for It!!!! Bus Diaries and other random tales have begun....

Who knew I was funny enough to have been asked many times to start a blog??? I am not sure if this is good or bad but this funny stuff is my life. Ya know, the randomness that happens on a normal (used very loosely) day.  I am 31 (right Tiff?), I live in Houston, TX with my lovely husband.  I commute to work downtown from a suburb of Houston called Cypress. It’s about a 45 minute commute to and from work each day.  I wasn't sure if I would like public transit but after moving to Cypress and realizing I might be capable of murder if I kept driving in each day, I opted for a bus pass.  Oh, not to mention its FREE thanks to my company. 

I will say, I am a much calmer person now that I can just sit back and ride.  But, I had NO CLUE that riding the bus would be as interesting as it is.  I guess when you take that many people and cram them in a small space; it is bound to get interesting from time to time.  So - I started posting on Facebook my BUS DIARIES. Low and behold people thought these things were funny!

If I can figure this whole blogging thing out I will start posting my BUS DIARIES here. So that you too can enjoy my take on public transportation.  If you know me, you understand that this next statement is all too true...RANDOMNESS HAPPENS TO ME! So as life happen, cause its a trip, I will post that here as well.  I sure hope I don't embarrass my family when I let some of this stuff out of my head (everybody give a big sigh for my poor husband...my parents have become accustomed)!

Disclaimer - I am not the best at grammar and being politically correct. I apologize in advance....focus on the content and don't over analyze...it will suck the fun right out of this.

Also - I plan to sit down in the next day or two and post all of my BUS DIARY items that are on Facebook, just need a little time.