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Friday, June 21, 2013

Spills, Prayer and I'm Stuck In My Chair

Well hello friends and fellow bus riders!  It has been a while.  Life has been extremely busy lately and I have been paddling as fast as I can to keep up!  But, no matter how busy life gets.....people are still crazy!  So here is an update on a couple of things that have been going on.

Many of my friends and family know how funny I think it is when people fall.  I know, sounds so mean.  But I look at it this way.  I am a cluts!  I trip and/or fall all the time and give people plenty to laugh at.  Therefore, I can laugh at others when they trip and/or fall. Its a rule OK!  My bus makes a stop at another transit center on its journey to and from downtown.  Usually I am sleeping and never know what happens at this stop.  But God must have known that I needed a giggle because I couldn't sleep the other day.  I was just sitting there minding my own business, sulking about having to be awake and all, when I see this gentleman running for a bus.  He is hightailing it from the parking lot to one of the other buses at the transit center.  I was sitting there thinking "poor guy, I hate that type of morning".  I see him cross the street waiving his arms and running when all of the sudden his foot hits the curb as he goes to step up onto the platform.  It was like slow motion.....He kicks the curb, throws his arms down to catch himself, takes a quick glance around to see who all saw him and stands up to continue running. OH MY WORD!!  I got so tickled.  Poor thing didn't make it to his but after all and he had a captive audience of bus passengers watching the whole thing go down.  Thank you kind sir for the morning giggle. Now go home and crawl back into bed!

I got to sit by a blast from the past!!! I mentioned an older lady a while back that I sat down by on the bus.  Well she must have the same reaction every time someone sits by her OR she REALLY doesn't like me.  Both times I have taken the seat by her, as soon as I sit down she starts scooting over.  There is only so much room and you can only move over so much.  Shes kept forgetting and fighting to get further away from me but was smack up against the window so I don't know where she though she was moving over to.  Everything in me wanted to keep scooting her way to see what she would do.  Soon after she got settled, AS FAR AWAY as she could get from me, she gets on her cellphone.  She calls her mom first and speaks to her VERY loudly mostly about the weather report.  I turned my head to shield my ears from her loud mouth.  As soon as she was wrapping her convo up I turned my head back around.  But do you know what that heifer did??? She made another phone call....to her dad.  Oh gracious....I really was trying hard to stay calm.  Thankfully this conversation didn't last as long.  She hung up and then leaned her chair back and closed her eyes.  I took a sigh of relief and started reading my book for a moment.  I get a few pages in when out of the blue the lady popped straight up from her reclined seat aggressively clasps her hand, bows her head, and starts mumbling a prayer under her breath.  I start looking around to see if there is some emergency that I have missed but don't see anything.  WHAT IN THE WORLD??? At thsi point I am totally staring her down with a very confused look on my face and I wasn't trying to hide it.  What is wrong with this lady???? I have made a mental sketch of her face in my head so I can avoid any future bus rides next to her.  Shes too much of a lose cannon!

There are often times where I wish I could take a picture of things that happen to me or situations I get myself into.  Because some are just too funny.  I sometimes envision some of these instances drawn up like a comic strip. One of these moments happened to me on the bus the other day.  The chairs on the bus sit in little tracks that allow the seats to move forwards or backwards.  I am not sure why they would need to move them around but sometimes when you get on the bus you will notice that the chairs are not evenly spaced. Which for someone like me.....messes with your head.  One morning I get on the bus and realize there are only 2 seats left to chose from.  One was by a larger guy and the other was next to a smaller lady.  Well of course I picked the smaller lady. The person who got on the bus behind me grabbed the last open spot.  I took a seat and quickly realize that my row had been moved forward and was entirely too close to the row in front of us.  I scooch back as far as my butt will go in the seat and attempt to cram my legs in the row.  I angled myself at first but I touched the lady next to me and since I don't like strangers to touch me I decided to be nice and quit leaning my legs on this poor lady.  So I yank my legs back through the tight spot and am awkwardly trying to get comfortable.  By this point the lady next to me has to be annoyed that I am still wiggling around so I feel bad and try to get still as possible.  By this point I have wedged my legs straight in front of me but have them picked up about chin level and leaning up on the back of the chair in front of me.  All of the sudden I get a mental picture of what this has to look like and start to laugh.  I begin to sing a modified version of the SNL song "FAT GUY IN A LITTLE COAT" but I change it to "FAT GAL IN A LITTLE ROW"!  Oh man, Life is so entertaining!

Have a great weekend all!