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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Several Reasons Why I Annoy Myself and Other Metro Tales

Well, its been a while since I have blogged.  I was feeling pretty crummy the last couple of weeks and it seems when I am ill my funny bone is the first thing that goes!  But, I think I am back in action!  Just because I was down and out certainly doesn't mean my fellow bus riders were.  I have plenty of stuff to share. 

Lets see, I think the first thing I would like to share with you could also be classified as one of my REASONS I'M NOT COOL moments and a funny bus tale.  A couple of weeks back I had gotten on the bus but was one of the last passengers on so there was slim pickings when it came to finding a seat.  There were two open seats. I could either have the person who sat on the outside seat get up and let me in (my preference since I like the inside seat but hate getting the death stare from the outside seat rider) OR I could sit in the aisle seat further back.  I decided to make the least amount of commotion....that was my intent anyway...and I chose the open seat on the outside.

I sit down in the seat and work on getting my tote bag situated on the floorboard where it wouldn't roll down the aisle.  The other seat fills up as I am thinking about how thankful I was not to have gotten the dirty look and eye roll that the poor gal who asked to sit in the open window spot did. The bus starts rolling right as I lean back to get ready for my morning nap and dang it if the stupid seat wasn't broken and I went flying backward into the guy behind me's lap!!!!!  I am pretty sure I startled the person next to me as well as the poor gent who's lap I was now practically laying in.  I make my apologies and pull the seat back up.  I am not sure why but I thought maybe if I just leaned back gently it would be OK.  So I give it another try...and then BAM I was right back in this poor guys lap.  OOPS!  I thought about asking the guy behind me for a head rub since he was right there but opted out.  I pull the darn thing back up and I had to lean forward the rest of the trip.  How the heck am I supposed to get a nap like that!  Think about how many people this happened to through out the day!

I usually see the same few bus drivers on the morning rotation.  They all have very different personalities.  I like to say good morning  when I get on the bus.  Some seem to like it, and some don't.  There is one middle aged gentleman who is always chipper.  He greets you as you get on the bus and as you exit.  He seems very nice.  But, I think I know his pet peeve.  We had turned onto the street my office is on and had made a stop to let people off.  I guess someone was walking across the street while they were talking on their cell phone. He starts yelling at them to get off their phone while walking across the street! He is going to town fussing at them!  I can't hear all he is saying to them and don't have a clue why this would bother this seemingly nice fellow.  Tell ya what, I dare not pull out my cell phone when he is my driver.  Is there some law or something that went into effect that I am not aware of? 

I would like to issue an allergy season disclaimer.  I myself am an allergy sufferer. I understand the woes of this plight.  But there are rules people!!!!!  Simple rules that they teach in pre-K to little children.  The rules still stand!!!  One inparticular that needs to be strictly adhered to.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, cough into your sleeve, or anything else that is yours and will shield us from your germy nastiness!  I had a guy right behind me hacking up a lung and wasn't trying to cover it up at all.  The only things that kept going through my head (except for OH GOD I'M GETTING SICK) is a mental picture of the mucus family from that Mucinex commercial flying out of his mouth and landing on my head.  Those things scare the crap out of me.  I turn those commercials as soon as I see them!  GAG AND NO THANK YOU! I would much prefer for Mr. & Mrs. Flem to stay with you!

Sometimes when I acknowledge to myself that something is annoying it starts to become a HUGE pet peeve that ends up just really making me crazy (like when I acknowledged the annoying sound my hair dryer makes when I cut it off...sounds like an airplane descending.  Now I can't NOT think about that when I cut it off). Case in point - the parking garage at the Metro station where I live is really very nice.  EXCEPT it has A MILLION speed bumps in it.  AND they are the double ones where you drive over two that are side by side and then immediately hit two more that are side by side.  They are so frequent too!  I counted the other day and there were over 20 some odd speed bumps from where I park to the exit.  Seriously!  And good lord, if you don't hit those suckers straight on and go sideways just a smidgen, the double speed bump situation will give you brain damage and knock a few parts off your car! I wonder if there is a candid camera somewhere just watching us dummies go over all those things?? Not gonna lie, once I started thinking about this each day, I started watching the movement of the people going over them in front of me and boy is it entertaining!  I know - doesn't take much to keep me entertained!

Not sure how many people will catch this....but.....I am CERTAIN that Mokiki works in downtown Houston! I have seen him several times!  And although he WAS NOT doing the sloppy swish, his distinct appearance is unmistakable.  You think he gives out autographs?

And last but not least - REASONS WHY I'M NOT COOL.....
There is a gentleman who rides my bus line who must have the same schedule as me.  We end up on the bus morning and night at the same time.  He is very friendly.  We chit chat in line and will sit and chat on the bus from time to time.  He works right down the road from me and needed to drive in one day and his usual people that ride with him so he can take the HOV lane were not available.  He asked me if I would be interested in riding home with him one particular day.  So I said sure no problem! He picks me up and we shoot onto the HOV and are at the bus stop to get my car in no time.  He is a very nice guy and easy to talk to so we chatted it up.  He pulls around to the front of the Metro parking garage to let me out and as I am saying goodbye and gathering my things I start to step out of the car.  When I did, my shoe gets caught up and I step right out of it.  Its on his floorboard and I am standing outside! I had to stick my foot back in his car and retrieve my dang shoe before I could close the door.  REALLY, whats the deal??? Stuff like that barely phases me and he didn't acknowledge it very much so I scooted past it.  But had I been him and seen someone do that I would have cracked up!  Lesson - get new shoes this is becoming a habit! 

Well, although I am not the story tell I can sometimes you are up to date!  Anyone else have the sloppy swish stuck in your head????


  1. AnonymousMay 14, 2013

    I totally agree with the germy folk...cough into your hand, or I will be forced to lysol your face! Nice bloggy blog, Mrs. Bray.


  2. AnonymousMay 14, 2013

    *Not "with"..."about". I agree with you about germy folk. And may I add, I'm glad that I don't have to ride the bus with it's broke @ss seats.