Let me start off by stating something that most Houstonians know...290 SUCKS! It’s awful, I hate it, it's sucking the life out of me, giving me(more)gray hair and most likely making my boss think I am lazy and sleeping in every day. This all got way worse than normal the week school started. Ok, that makes sense I guess. But this is the 4th week since school started and yesterday I left right on time and was still 20 some odd minutes late. WHAT GIVES 290! I am so sick of getting ulcers while sitting in stopped traffic worrying I am going to be late for work. Once I arrive at work and rush in with my head tucked feeling awful for my tardiness, I spend the next 2 hours trying to unwind from the commute. Gone are the days of my worst complaints about the commute being in relation to the people. Man I am sort of missing the normal snorer or leg grazer. At least that didn't spill over into the rest of my day. I have now decided to try catching a bus that is a little closer in on 290 and possibly miss a few clogs. Today was my first attempt, and so far so good. We shall see. So I guess the good thing here is I have an entirely new group of people to commute with and this means NEW STORIES hopefully! So here is my
Ode to the 217 bus.....ye shall be missed (like an ingrown toe nail is missed).
Most days you get the same repeat offenses like talking too loud on the phone, hogging the seat and touching my leg etc. But every now and again you get a new one. I was sitting on the inside of the row by the window. A normal enough looking fellow approaches and sits down next to me. He immediately begins to shimmy into a wool sweater. Yes the bus gets cold, no it does not call for WOOL! Not to mention that he has to do so much wiggling and squirming to get this thing on over his dress shirt that I am starting to wonder if I need to help him. Nah, this was too good to interrupt. So he gets in the sweater and sits still for a brief moment. Then he gets his briefcase out and pulls out what I thought was a little Franklin planner or something. Oh no....it wasn’t a planner. It was a manicure set. To do nails with. While riding on the bus? Is this odd to anyone else? I started praying he just had a snagged nail or a stray cuticle. OH NO not this guy. He pushed his cuticles back then started clipping his nails! I wanted to scream or gag. Luckily he was making sure they fell into his handy traveling manicure kit, but still EEEeeeWWwwww! That is just something I think most people know not to do in public. He didn't get the memo. Here is another first for me.
The 217 exits 290 at Skinner Rd. and then travels down the feeder road past a business or two and then turns right into the bus drop off area. This particular day the bus driver thought that she would test the patience of the passengers by passing up the driveway!!! Oh yes she did! Passed it right up. You could see the panic in her face. You can't exactly back a bus up on the feeder road. A very kind man sitting in the first row begins instructing her on how to get back around. The anger that was radiating from the passengers was so thick you could have cut it with a butter knife. You would have thought that I was on the bus with a bunch of perfect people who never made a mistake in their lives because certainly they were not judging this poor lady for her mistake. They so were. I mean, she could have pulled into the regular entrance that was right after the driveway that she missed and let people out but who knows, maybe they aren’t allowed to. So she turns at the stop light and makes the HUGE block and came back around the feeder road. We all held our breath as we approached the entrance....and she made the turn! YAY! We arrived. Most of the time as each person exits the bus they say "thank you" to the bus driver or "good evening" or some pleasantry. There was very little of that this time. I managed to say, "have a good evening, don’t worry about it" as she repeated "I'm sorry" a million times. I just can’t imagine having a load of people there staring at me when I make a mistake. I can’t handle disappointing one person much less a bus full. I hope she had a Calgon take me away type of evening and forgot the entire mess.
I think I have mentioned to you guys that I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON. I am a zombie until I get some coffee and have time to knock the cobwebs out of my head. The bus rides are normally extremely quiet (except for the occasional idiot who has no clue of the rules). I usually take a little cat nap to and from work. So I got on the bus this morning and sat down next to a gentleman and leaned my chair back and closed my eyes. I realized this was a very cold bus and decided to get my pashmina wrap out and cover up. He takes this as an opportunity to start a convo about how the buses are either really cold or really hot. I nod at him in agreement and continue my mummification process. I get all snuggled in and then he starts talking again. He asked me how long I had been riding the bus and if I like it. He really was a nice guy so I didn’t tell him "yeah it was great until I sat down next to you and your chatty self". I answered him, "over a year now and I like it, much better than driving 290 each day". Then he begins a LONG story about how he hates it and is going to quit the job he just took downtown because he would rather less money than have to deal with the commute. Ok good for you, you do that. I try to close my eyes. Then he sees my little belly. I will give it to him, he took a risk and asked "are you expecting?". Everything in me wanted to say "no sir, why do you ask" Just to make his heart skip a beat or two, but I refrained. I said, yes I sure am. The I got the story of all his kids and how they have almost grown kids and then a surprise pregnancy that gave them their 2 year old son. You could tell he was a family man who lived for those kiddos. Very sweet story....BUT IT’S SO EARLY....and did I mention I haven’t had my coffee? Silent finger please!
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT (PSA): If you are having a phone conversation with your homies(a very loud one at that) on the PUBLIC bus, please refrain from shouting the word bitch constantly. It is rude, annoying and makes you look ignorant. I wasn't aware this word could sub for just about any other word in a sentence. Now, if you are a dog breeder, you get a pass.
Thanks 217, I have enjoyed your entertainment. I especially love your fancy parking garage. Who knows, this 214 thing might not work out so well.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Catching up: From Brayby's to Abominable Snowmen
Hello all, I have been falling short of my duties of reporting ridiculous stuff to you guys! It's been a really crazy past few months. Mainly because we are getting adjusted to BEING PREGNANT!!!! Yes, come January we will be bringing a little Brayby (get it....our last name is Bray...ha ha ha!) into the world. We are beyond excited and just cant wait to see out little bundle of joy. Although, I'm not gonna lie....after we found out the news that we had hoped for....it all hit me. We REALLY are gonna have a baby.....life got REAL at that point! So many things to think about and figure out and WE KNOW NOTHING. At least I am old enough to know I know nothing.
Even though life has been busy I am still riding the 'ol Metro bus and enjoying all that Houston transit has to offer! Earlier today I posted a few I had jotted down a while back. There were a few more I had tucked away that I thought I would share with you all. I have been asking all my fellow bus riders to share their stories with me so I can add them to my blog. Someone recently told me that there was a lady on their bus who was a daily bus rider. One day they all got on the bus and were headed down the street when the woman JUMPPED out of her seat and screamed "OH SHIT....I forgot that I drove in today". She had to jump off the bus and hightail it back to wherever she parked. Sometimes being in a routine will get ya!
Sometimes I think it might be good to ban chewing gum completely! I mean if people are not smart enough or courteous enough to throw their gum in a trash can when they are done.....then they should lose the dang privilege. How many times have you stepped in gum and had to drag your foot on the ground for a mile to get it partially off? NASTY! Well as if that isn't nasty enough....some JERK of a person decided to put a wad of gum on the button that you press on the arm rest to lean the chair back. So I grab a seat one day, go to recline my seat.....and stick my dang hand right in someone's chewed gum. That was an intentional thing someone did and I just pray that they get hemorrhoids the size of grapefruit! That would serve them right!
One last story for today. But I will have to paint this picture for you because I figured taking a picture would be a little rude. I got on the bus this morning and there were only a few people on the bus. So I head down the aisle and grab myself a seat. I was so excited to have gotten to sit on the inside and was sort of hoping that it would be an empty bus so I could have the seat to myself. It was just one of those mornings where I just didn't want to be all friendly and share a seat. I wasn't quite ready for human interaction yet. Well, with my tacky attitude I deserve what I got. The bus starts filling up and I am just sitting there reading on my phone. A lady walks towards me and starts to move into my row. I am not really paying attention and just make sure I am on my side and out of her way. She sits down and I kid you not....I was dwarfed by her size. Now that's not easy to do because I am about 5' 8" and I have some hips on me along with fairly wide shoulders. This gal was overweight but mainly she was just a BIG WOMAN. She sat up way taller than me and I couldn't see around her if I wanted to look at someone across the row. I moved over as far as I could towards the wall and she was still pressing my legs a bit. I didn't wiggle too much even though I HATE being touched by random bus strangers because I didn't want her to feel self-conscious at all. So I just sat there and tried not to think about what we must look like all crammed in there. But if I try not to think of something funny.....I just can't help it. I got a mental picture of the cartoon where the Abominable Snowman is grasping Daffy Duck in his hands and saying he's gonna "love him and hug him and keep him all for his very own". Then I got tickled and faught off the laughter for a mile or two. If my life didn't play in my head as a cartoon clip I might be able to act like a growup from time to time.
Even though life has been busy I am still riding the 'ol Metro bus and enjoying all that Houston transit has to offer! Earlier today I posted a few I had jotted down a while back. There were a few more I had tucked away that I thought I would share with you all. I have been asking all my fellow bus riders to share their stories with me so I can add them to my blog. Someone recently told me that there was a lady on their bus who was a daily bus rider. One day they all got on the bus and were headed down the street when the woman JUMPPED out of her seat and screamed "OH SHIT....I forgot that I drove in today". She had to jump off the bus and hightail it back to wherever she parked. Sometimes being in a routine will get ya!
Sometimes I think it might be good to ban chewing gum completely! I mean if people are not smart enough or courteous enough to throw their gum in a trash can when they are done.....then they should lose the dang privilege. How many times have you stepped in gum and had to drag your foot on the ground for a mile to get it partially off? NASTY! Well as if that isn't nasty enough....some JERK of a person decided to put a wad of gum on the button that you press on the arm rest to lean the chair back. So I grab a seat one day, go to recline my seat.....and stick my dang hand right in someone's chewed gum. That was an intentional thing someone did and I just pray that they get hemorrhoids the size of grapefruit! That would serve them right!
One last story for today. But I will have to paint this picture for you because I figured taking a picture would be a little rude. I got on the bus this morning and there were only a few people on the bus. So I head down the aisle and grab myself a seat. I was so excited to have gotten to sit on the inside and was sort of hoping that it would be an empty bus so I could have the seat to myself. It was just one of those mornings where I just didn't want to be all friendly and share a seat. I wasn't quite ready for human interaction yet. Well, with my tacky attitude I deserve what I got. The bus starts filling up and I am just sitting there reading on my phone. A lady walks towards me and starts to move into my row. I am not really paying attention and just make sure I am on my side and out of her way. She sits down and I kid you not....I was dwarfed by her size. Now that's not easy to do because I am about 5' 8" and I have some hips on me along with fairly wide shoulders. This gal was overweight but mainly she was just a BIG WOMAN. She sat up way taller than me and I couldn't see around her if I wanted to look at someone across the row. I moved over as far as I could towards the wall and she was still pressing my legs a bit. I didn't wiggle too much even though I HATE being touched by random bus strangers because I didn't want her to feel self-conscious at all. So I just sat there and tried not to think about what we must look like all crammed in there. But if I try not to think of something funny.....I just can't help it. I got a mental picture of the cartoon where the Abominable Snowman is grasping Daffy Duck in his hands and saying he's gonna "love him and hug him and keep him all for his very own". Then I got tickled and faught off the laughter for a mile or two. If my life didn't play in my head as a cartoon clip I might be able to act like a growup from time to time.
A few Old Stories....I am a bit behind!
Well good day to all! My computer is actually cooperating with me today so lets see if I can make sense of the quick notes I jot down in order to remember all my bus happenings. I have actually asked a few of you for bus stories before but I have gotten only one....I am surprised! I know crazy happens on all buses not just the 217! So If you would like to share your stories with me I would love to add them to my blog! Just send them to txglrae@gmail.com. So a friend of mine who has ridden the bus for many years told me an interesting story. She had gotten on the bus and grabbed a seat in the first row. Shortly after a lady across the way gets her attention and tells her that the row she is sitting in is reserved for handicapped and elderly people. To which she replies, yes I know, and asked if the lady needed to sit there. The lady said "no" but proceeded to tell her this same information about 3 more times! Here is my question....are you supposed to leave the seat open or take it and just move if a handicapped person or elderly person should enter the bus? I figure it works like the handicapped stall in the restroom. If you are next in line its all yours....unless there is a handicapped person and then they trump you. Maybe I have these rules all wrong. Who knows, I might have offended masses of people on the bus and in the bathroom! If so, may this serve as my apology. Unless more people side with me and in that case, get in line folks!
The other day one of our usual bus drivers picked us up and we proceeded down the road to a few more stops before we got on the freeway. I noticed the bus driver closed the door and in a minute she opened it up again. I never saw anyone get on so I was wondering what was going on. In a minute I see her waving her arms a bit. I wasn't sure if she was signaling to someone outside the bus or what. Next thing you know she grabs her water bottle, takes the cap off, and slings water towards the door. I am HIGHLY confused at this point. Then she starts fussing and I managed to make out something about a bug. That lady slung water all over the front of that bus and who knows if that bug was out.....but sure looked like a dang monsoon had happened up there.
The other morning I make in onto the bus and grab one of the last seats in the bus. I'm sitting int the aisle next to a gentleman I see frequently. I get myself situated and such and am preparing for my little siesta when out of the corner of my eye I see him looking at me. I turn to look at him and he looks away. I thought "do I have a booger?". I proceed with my nestling in for my nap and I feel him looking at me. So I glance back his way. He quickly looks straight ahead. WEIRD. I closed my eyes for a moment enjoying the back of my eyelids when I wondered what the man was doing now. So I open my eyes and he is looking towards me but just past me.....hhhmm. He is really creeping me out at this point. I glare at him trying to let him know he has been caught....now stop! I close my eyes and start to drift off when I can feel his leg brush mine. OH NO....I can't handle this. So I sit straight up, move as far towards the aisle as I can and glare at him. I am not sitting there a second or two before I see him relax his leg and it brushes me again. GGGEEEERR....why I don't have more guts in these situations I don't know. I should have said a thing or two to him but I didn't. I sat my chair straight up. Grabbed my purse and scooted it more towards him so he would hit it and maybe not me and leaned in towards the aisle enough to where he knew he was a huge inconvenience to me at this point. My skin was crawling! The second I got to my stop I jumped out of my seat and ran for it! I would like to implement a new rule, you touch me more than once I taze you!
The other day one of our usual bus drivers picked us up and we proceeded down the road to a few more stops before we got on the freeway. I noticed the bus driver closed the door and in a minute she opened it up again. I never saw anyone get on so I was wondering what was going on. In a minute I see her waving her arms a bit. I wasn't sure if she was signaling to someone outside the bus or what. Next thing you know she grabs her water bottle, takes the cap off, and slings water towards the door. I am HIGHLY confused at this point. Then she starts fussing and I managed to make out something about a bug. That lady slung water all over the front of that bus and who knows if that bug was out.....but sure looked like a dang monsoon had happened up there.
The other morning I make in onto the bus and grab one of the last seats in the bus. I'm sitting int the aisle next to a gentleman I see frequently. I get myself situated and such and am preparing for my little siesta when out of the corner of my eye I see him looking at me. I turn to look at him and he looks away. I thought "do I have a booger?". I proceed with my nestling in for my nap and I feel him looking at me. So I glance back his way. He quickly looks straight ahead. WEIRD. I closed my eyes for a moment enjoying the back of my eyelids when I wondered what the man was doing now. So I open my eyes and he is looking towards me but just past me.....hhhmm. He is really creeping me out at this point. I glare at him trying to let him know he has been caught....now stop! I close my eyes and start to drift off when I can feel his leg brush mine. OH NO....I can't handle this. So I sit straight up, move as far towards the aisle as I can and glare at him. I am not sitting there a second or two before I see him relax his leg and it brushes me again. GGGEEEERR....why I don't have more guts in these situations I don't know. I should have said a thing or two to him but I didn't. I sat my chair straight up. Grabbed my purse and scooted it more towards him so he would hit it and maybe not me and leaned in towards the aisle enough to where he knew he was a huge inconvenience to me at this point. My skin was crawling! The second I got to my stop I jumped out of my seat and ran for it! I would like to implement a new rule, you touch me more than once I taze you!
Friday, June 21, 2013
Spills, Prayer and I'm Stuck In My Chair
Well hello friends and fellow bus riders! It has been a while. Life has been extremely busy lately and I have been paddling as fast as I can to keep up! But, no matter how busy life gets.....people are still crazy! So here is an update on a couple of things that have been going on.
Many of my friends and family know how funny I think it is when people fall. I know, sounds so mean. But I look at it this way. I am a cluts! I trip and/or fall all the time and give people plenty to laugh at. Therefore, I can laugh at others when they trip and/or fall. Its a rule OK! My bus makes a stop at another transit center on its journey to and from downtown. Usually I am sleeping and never know what happens at this stop. But God must have known that I needed a giggle because I couldn't sleep the other day. I was just sitting there minding my own business, sulking about having to be awake and all, when I see this gentleman running for a bus. He is hightailing it from the parking lot to one of the other buses at the transit center. I was sitting there thinking "poor guy, I hate that type of morning". I see him cross the street waiving his arms and running when all of the sudden his foot hits the curb as he goes to step up onto the platform. It was like slow motion.....He kicks the curb, throws his arms down to catch himself, takes a quick glance around to see who all saw him and stands up to continue running. OH MY WORD!! I got so tickled. Poor thing didn't make it to his but after all and he had a captive audience of bus passengers watching the whole thing go down. Thank you kind sir for the morning giggle. Now go home and crawl back into bed!
I got to sit by a blast from the past!!! I mentioned an older lady a while back that I sat down by on the bus. Well she must have the same reaction every time someone sits by her OR she REALLY doesn't like me. Both times I have taken the seat by her, as soon as I sit down she starts scooting over. There is only so much room and you can only move over so much. Shes kept forgetting and fighting to get further away from me but was smack up against the window so I don't know where she though she was moving over to. Everything in me wanted to keep scooting her way to see what she would do. Soon after she got settled, AS FAR AWAY as she could get from me, she gets on her cellphone. She calls her mom first and speaks to her VERY loudly mostly about the weather report. I turned my head to shield my ears from her loud mouth. As soon as she was wrapping her convo up I turned my head back around. But do you know what that heifer did??? She made another phone call....to her dad. Oh gracious....I really was trying hard to stay calm. Thankfully this conversation didn't last as long. She hung up and then leaned her chair back and closed her eyes. I took a sigh of relief and started reading my book for a moment. I get a few pages in when out of the blue the lady popped straight up from her reclined seat aggressively clasps her hand, bows her head, and starts mumbling a prayer under her breath. I start looking around to see if there is some emergency that I have missed but don't see anything. WHAT IN THE WORLD??? At thsi point I am totally staring her down with a very confused look on my face and I wasn't trying to hide it. What is wrong with this lady???? I have made a mental sketch of her face in my head so I can avoid any future bus rides next to her. Shes too much of a lose cannon!
There are often times where I wish I could take a picture of things that happen to me or situations I get myself into. Because some are just too funny. I sometimes envision some of these instances drawn up like a comic strip. One of these moments happened to me on the bus the other day. The chairs on the bus sit in little tracks that allow the seats to move forwards or backwards. I am not sure why they would need to move them around but sometimes when you get on the bus you will notice that the chairs are not evenly spaced. Which for someone like me.....messes with your head. One morning I get on the bus and realize there are only 2 seats left to chose from. One was by a larger guy and the other was next to a smaller lady. Well of course I picked the smaller lady. The person who got on the bus behind me grabbed the last open spot. I took a seat and quickly realize that my row had been moved forward and was entirely too close to the row in front of us. I scooch back as far as my butt will go in the seat and attempt to cram my legs in the row. I angled myself at first but I touched the lady next to me and since I don't like strangers to touch me I decided to be nice and quit leaning my legs on this poor lady. So I yank my legs back through the tight spot and am awkwardly trying to get comfortable. By this point the lady next to me has to be annoyed that I am still wiggling around so I feel bad and try to get still as possible. By this point I have wedged my legs straight in front of me but have them picked up about chin level and leaning up on the back of the chair in front of me. All of the sudden I get a mental picture of what this has to look like and start to laugh. I begin to sing a modified version of the SNL song "FAT GUY IN A LITTLE COAT" but I change it to "FAT GAL IN A LITTLE ROW"! Oh man, Life is so entertaining!
Have a great weekend all!
Many of my friends and family know how funny I think it is when people fall. I know, sounds so mean. But I look at it this way. I am a cluts! I trip and/or fall all the time and give people plenty to laugh at. Therefore, I can laugh at others when they trip and/or fall. Its a rule OK! My bus makes a stop at another transit center on its journey to and from downtown. Usually I am sleeping and never know what happens at this stop. But God must have known that I needed a giggle because I couldn't sleep the other day. I was just sitting there minding my own business, sulking about having to be awake and all, when I see this gentleman running for a bus. He is hightailing it from the parking lot to one of the other buses at the transit center. I was sitting there thinking "poor guy, I hate that type of morning". I see him cross the street waiving his arms and running when all of the sudden his foot hits the curb as he goes to step up onto the platform. It was like slow motion.....He kicks the curb, throws his arms down to catch himself, takes a quick glance around to see who all saw him and stands up to continue running. OH MY WORD!! I got so tickled. Poor thing didn't make it to his but after all and he had a captive audience of bus passengers watching the whole thing go down. Thank you kind sir for the morning giggle. Now go home and crawl back into bed!
I got to sit by a blast from the past!!! I mentioned an older lady a while back that I sat down by on the bus. Well she must have the same reaction every time someone sits by her OR she REALLY doesn't like me. Both times I have taken the seat by her, as soon as I sit down she starts scooting over. There is only so much room and you can only move over so much. Shes kept forgetting and fighting to get further away from me but was smack up against the window so I don't know where she though she was moving over to. Everything in me wanted to keep scooting her way to see what she would do. Soon after she got settled, AS FAR AWAY as she could get from me, she gets on her cellphone. She calls her mom first and speaks to her VERY loudly mostly about the weather report. I turned my head to shield my ears from her loud mouth. As soon as she was wrapping her convo up I turned my head back around. But do you know what that heifer did??? She made another phone call....to her dad. Oh gracious....I really was trying hard to stay calm. Thankfully this conversation didn't last as long. She hung up and then leaned her chair back and closed her eyes. I took a sigh of relief and started reading my book for a moment. I get a few pages in when out of the blue the lady popped straight up from her reclined seat aggressively clasps her hand, bows her head, and starts mumbling a prayer under her breath. I start looking around to see if there is some emergency that I have missed but don't see anything. WHAT IN THE WORLD??? At thsi point I am totally staring her down with a very confused look on my face and I wasn't trying to hide it. What is wrong with this lady???? I have made a mental sketch of her face in my head so I can avoid any future bus rides next to her. Shes too much of a lose cannon!
There are often times where I wish I could take a picture of things that happen to me or situations I get myself into. Because some are just too funny. I sometimes envision some of these instances drawn up like a comic strip. One of these moments happened to me on the bus the other day. The chairs on the bus sit in little tracks that allow the seats to move forwards or backwards. I am not sure why they would need to move them around but sometimes when you get on the bus you will notice that the chairs are not evenly spaced. Which for someone like me.....messes with your head. One morning I get on the bus and realize there are only 2 seats left to chose from. One was by a larger guy and the other was next to a smaller lady. Well of course I picked the smaller lady. The person who got on the bus behind me grabbed the last open spot. I took a seat and quickly realize that my row had been moved forward and was entirely too close to the row in front of us. I scooch back as far as my butt will go in the seat and attempt to cram my legs in the row. I angled myself at first but I touched the lady next to me and since I don't like strangers to touch me I decided to be nice and quit leaning my legs on this poor lady. So I yank my legs back through the tight spot and am awkwardly trying to get comfortable. By this point the lady next to me has to be annoyed that I am still wiggling around so I feel bad and try to get still as possible. By this point I have wedged my legs straight in front of me but have them picked up about chin level and leaning up on the back of the chair in front of me. All of the sudden I get a mental picture of what this has to look like and start to laugh. I begin to sing a modified version of the SNL song "FAT GUY IN A LITTLE COAT" but I change it to "FAT GAL IN A LITTLE ROW"! Oh man, Life is so entertaining!
Have a great weekend all!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
My Metro Bus Version of E! News (queue catchy music)
**I would like to implement a new rule for all the bus riders at 6am in the morning. If you are a cutesy, perfectly put together female....please do not sit in my general vicinity on the bus. You make me look bad! When I wake up, I do just the bare minimum to not look homeless or embarrass my bosses. Heck most of my thoughts when I am getting dressed center around figuring out how soon I can get to bed that night and NOT what adorable ensemble I can put together. Halfway through the day I do start thinking that maybe I should have spent more time putting together an outfit or making up my face (after coffee has taken effect).
I look especially bad compared to this cutest gal on my same morning bus. Granted she is younger than me. But, she is just so well dressed every day, from her cute hair-dos to her pressed clothing and her high heels that she wears from her car, down the stairs and to the bus (while I am loafing along in my granny flats...I used to care...). Now, I have never been one of those girls who hates other girls for being cute. So go on with your bad self little Missy. But I have to say, I saw her the other morning without makeup and thought to myself "YAY, she isn't perfect all the time and she isn't feeling the AM anymore than I am". But alas, my moment of feeling better about myself was soon dissipated by her AMAZING ability to put on her entire face while riding on a bus. COMPLETE WITH EYE LINER!!! What tha???....I sort of idolize her now. Good gravy would I be a hot mess!! Not only would I have a road map drawn all over my face with eye liner etc, I would gouge my eye out and be squirting blood in no time. I gotta give her even more credit.....home girl has skills!
**One of the most entertaining things on the bus ride is actually listening to the dispatchers and bus drivers talking over their radios back and forth to each other. Sometimes you get a bus driver who has their radio volume turned up full blast and you get to enjoy the banter. I have chuckled every now and then at some of the things that are said. But for the most part they keep it copacetic. We got so lucky the other day when our driver had his radio up loud. It was a conversation between a bus driver and the dispatcher and they were NOT getting along at all. You could first here the sarcasm in their voices, then the dispatcher lady cut to the chase. She called the bus driver out and straight up told him he was being rude and he needed to "listen better". Oh man....it was on. He did not appreciate that and he let her know. I just couldn't believe they were doing all of this over the radio waves knowing anyone could listen in. I wish we could have chimed in and egged them on! That's what I call some good quality entertainment!
**OK - This story is complete with a picture at the end. Although its not the best. I was trying to snap a picture but the lighting was off. Then when I got a better shot I was worried I would be found out. Here's the story: This week I was standing at the bus stop waiting for my bus after work. I was probably 4th in line and my bus number is in the middle of two other buses lines. I look up and the lady at the very front of the line to my left was a sight to behold. She was a short lady I'm guessing in her late 60's. She has short hair and is wearing a bright blue headband with HUGE blue roses across one side of it. As I was taking in the rest of her outfit I realize that she was very color coordinated!!! She had on a SHEER black shirt with stars on it and a BRIGHT BLUE bra on underneath it. I mean, she was spot on with her headband bra matching but....it just seemed a bit inappropriate to me. I will say, I have never once thought to myself...."hhhmmm I wonder if I have a headband to match this bra". But who knows, it might be in In Style Magazine next week! Little trend setter? I sure hope not....I don't have the headband collection for that...ha ha. (I cut her head off but she walked away before I could retake the picture)
I look especially bad compared to this cutest gal on my same morning bus. Granted she is younger than me. But, she is just so well dressed every day, from her cute hair-dos to her pressed clothing and her high heels that she wears from her car, down the stairs and to the bus (while I am loafing along in my granny flats...I used to care...). Now, I have never been one of those girls who hates other girls for being cute. So go on with your bad self little Missy. But I have to say, I saw her the other morning without makeup and thought to myself "YAY, she isn't perfect all the time and she isn't feeling the AM anymore than I am". But alas, my moment of feeling better about myself was soon dissipated by her AMAZING ability to put on her entire face while riding on a bus. COMPLETE WITH EYE LINER!!! What tha???....I sort of idolize her now. Good gravy would I be a hot mess!! Not only would I have a road map drawn all over my face with eye liner etc, I would gouge my eye out and be squirting blood in no time. I gotta give her even more credit.....home girl has skills!
**One of the most entertaining things on the bus ride is actually listening to the dispatchers and bus drivers talking over their radios back and forth to each other. Sometimes you get a bus driver who has their radio volume turned up full blast and you get to enjoy the banter. I have chuckled every now and then at some of the things that are said. But for the most part they keep it copacetic. We got so lucky the other day when our driver had his radio up loud. It was a conversation between a bus driver and the dispatcher and they were NOT getting along at all. You could first here the sarcasm in their voices, then the dispatcher lady cut to the chase. She called the bus driver out and straight up told him he was being rude and he needed to "listen better". Oh man....it was on. He did not appreciate that and he let her know. I just couldn't believe they were doing all of this over the radio waves knowing anyone could listen in. I wish we could have chimed in and egged them on! That's what I call some good quality entertainment!
**OK - This story is complete with a picture at the end. Although its not the best. I was trying to snap a picture but the lighting was off. Then when I got a better shot I was worried I would be found out. Here's the story: This week I was standing at the bus stop waiting for my bus after work. I was probably 4th in line and my bus number is in the middle of two other buses lines. I look up and the lady at the very front of the line to my left was a sight to behold. She was a short lady I'm guessing in her late 60's. She has short hair and is wearing a bright blue headband with HUGE blue roses across one side of it. As I was taking in the rest of her outfit I realize that she was very color coordinated!!! She had on a SHEER black shirt with stars on it and a BRIGHT BLUE bra on underneath it. I mean, she was spot on with her headband bra matching but....it just seemed a bit inappropriate to me. I will say, I have never once thought to myself...."hhhmmm I wonder if I have a headband to match this bra". But who knows, it might be in In Style Magazine next week! Little trend setter? I sure hope not....I don't have the headband collection for that...ha ha. (I cut her head off but she walked away before I could retake the picture)
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
...In Addition
In conjunction with my post today...Just got on the bus for my ride home. And as luck would have it...I picked a broken seat!!! This time I warned the gentleman behind me that its broken and I'm sorry in advance if I end up in his lap. To which he replies "well no problem, don't be sorry". Guess I set myself up for that!
Add to my current misery the bus has NO AC and its actually hot today when there isn't air movement. The bus driver was telling every 5 people or so but I didn't know until I was on the bus. I feel the mood in here darkening!
Add to my current misery the bus has NO AC and its actually hot today when there isn't air movement. The bus driver was telling every 5 people or so but I didn't know until I was on the bus. I feel the mood in here darkening!
Several Reasons Why I Annoy Myself and Other Metro Tales
Well, its been a while since I have blogged. I was feeling pretty crummy the last couple of weeks and it seems when I am ill my funny bone is the first thing that goes! But, I think I am back in action! Just because I was down and out certainly doesn't mean my fellow bus riders were. I have plenty of stuff to share.
Lets see, I think the first thing I would like to share with you could also be classified as one of my REASONS I'M NOT COOL moments and a funny bus tale. A couple of weeks back I had gotten on the bus but was one of the last passengers on so there was slim pickings when it came to finding a seat. There were two open seats. I could either have the person who sat on the outside seat get up and let me in (my preference since I like the inside seat but hate getting the death stare from the outside seat rider) OR I could sit in the aisle seat further back. I decided to make the least amount of commotion....that was my intent anyway...and I chose the open seat on the outside.
I sit down in the seat and work on getting my tote bag situated on the floorboard where it wouldn't roll down the aisle. The other seat fills up as I am thinking about how thankful I was not to have gotten the dirty look and eye roll that the poor gal who asked to sit in the open window spot did. The bus starts rolling right as I lean back to get ready for my morning nap and dang it if the stupid seat wasn't broken and I went flying backward into the guy behind me's lap!!!!! I am pretty sure I startled the person next to me as well as the poor gent who's lap I was now practically laying in. I make my apologies and pull the seat back up. I am not sure why but I thought maybe if I just leaned back gently it would be OK. So I give it another try...and then BAM I was right back in this poor guys lap. OOPS! I thought about asking the guy behind me for a head rub since he was right there but opted out. I pull the darn thing back up and I had to lean forward the rest of the trip. How the heck am I supposed to get a nap like that! Think about how many people this happened to through out the day!
I usually see the same few bus drivers on the morning rotation. They all have very different personalities. I like to say good morning when I get on the bus. Some seem to like it, and some don't. There is one middle aged gentleman who is always chipper. He greets you as you get on the bus and as you exit. He seems very nice. But, I think I know his pet peeve. We had turned onto the street my office is on and had made a stop to let people off. I guess someone was walking across the street while they were talking on their cell phone. He starts yelling at them to get off their phone while walking across the street! He is going to town fussing at them! I can't hear all he is saying to them and don't have a clue why this would bother this seemingly nice fellow. Tell ya what, I dare not pull out my cell phone when he is my driver. Is there some law or something that went into effect that I am not aware of?
I would like to issue an allergy season disclaimer. I myself am an allergy sufferer. I understand the woes of this plight. But there are rules people!!!!! Simple rules that they teach in pre-K to little children. The rules still stand!!! One inparticular that needs to be strictly adhered to. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, cough into your sleeve, or anything else that is yours and will shield us from your germy nastiness! I had a guy right behind me hacking up a lung and wasn't trying to cover it up at all. The only things that kept going through my head (except for OH GOD I'M GETTING SICK) is a mental picture of the mucus family from that Mucinex commercial flying out of his mouth and landing on my head. Those things scare the crap out of me. I turn those commercials as soon as I see them! GAG AND NO THANK YOU! I would much prefer for Mr. & Mrs. Flem to stay with you!
Sometimes when I acknowledge to myself that something is annoying it starts to become a HUGE pet peeve that ends up just really making me crazy (like when I acknowledged the annoying sound my hair dryer makes when I cut it off...sounds like an airplane descending. Now I can't NOT think about that when I cut it off). Case in point - the parking garage at the Metro station where I live is really very nice. EXCEPT it has A MILLION speed bumps in it. AND they are the double ones where you drive over two that are side by side and then immediately hit two more that are side by side. They are so frequent too! I counted the other day and there were over 20 some odd speed bumps from where I park to the exit. Seriously! And good lord, if you don't hit those suckers straight on and go sideways just a smidgen, the double speed bump situation will give you brain damage and knock a few parts off your car! I wonder if there is a candid camera somewhere just watching us dummies go over all those things?? Not gonna lie, once I started thinking about this each day, I started watching the movement of the people going over them in front of me and boy is it entertaining! I know - doesn't take much to keep me entertained!
Not sure how many people will catch this....but.....I am CERTAIN that Mokiki works in downtown Houston! I have seen him several times! And although he WAS NOT doing the sloppy swish, his distinct appearance is unmistakable. You think he gives out autographs?
And last but not least - REASONS WHY I'M NOT COOL.....
There is a gentleman who rides my bus line who must have the same schedule as me. We end up on the bus morning and night at the same time. He is very friendly. We chit chat in line and will sit and chat on the bus from time to time. He works right down the road from me and needed to drive in one day and his usual people that ride with him so he can take the HOV lane were not available. He asked me if I would be interested in riding home with him one particular day. So I said sure no problem! He picks me up and we shoot onto the HOV and are at the bus stop to get my car in no time. He is a very nice guy and easy to talk to so we chatted it up. He pulls around to the front of the Metro parking garage to let me out and as I am saying goodbye and gathering my things I start to step out of the car. When I did, my shoe gets caught up and I step right out of it. Its on his floorboard and I am standing outside! I had to stick my foot back in his car and retrieve my dang shoe before I could close the door. REALLY, whats the deal??? Stuff like that barely phases me and he didn't acknowledge it very much so I scooted past it. But had I been him and seen someone do that I would have cracked up! Lesson - get new shoes this is becoming a habit!
Well, although I am not the story tell I can sometimes be.....now you are up to date! Anyone else have the sloppy swish stuck in your head????
Lets see, I think the first thing I would like to share with you could also be classified as one of my REASONS I'M NOT COOL moments and a funny bus tale. A couple of weeks back I had gotten on the bus but was one of the last passengers on so there was slim pickings when it came to finding a seat. There were two open seats. I could either have the person who sat on the outside seat get up and let me in (my preference since I like the inside seat but hate getting the death stare from the outside seat rider) OR I could sit in the aisle seat further back. I decided to make the least amount of commotion....that was my intent anyway...and I chose the open seat on the outside.
I sit down in the seat and work on getting my tote bag situated on the floorboard where it wouldn't roll down the aisle. The other seat fills up as I am thinking about how thankful I was not to have gotten the dirty look and eye roll that the poor gal who asked to sit in the open window spot did. The bus starts rolling right as I lean back to get ready for my morning nap and dang it if the stupid seat wasn't broken and I went flying backward into the guy behind me's lap!!!!! I am pretty sure I startled the person next to me as well as the poor gent who's lap I was now practically laying in. I make my apologies and pull the seat back up. I am not sure why but I thought maybe if I just leaned back gently it would be OK. So I give it another try...and then BAM I was right back in this poor guys lap. OOPS! I thought about asking the guy behind me for a head rub since he was right there but opted out. I pull the darn thing back up and I had to lean forward the rest of the trip. How the heck am I supposed to get a nap like that! Think about how many people this happened to through out the day!
I usually see the same few bus drivers on the morning rotation. They all have very different personalities. I like to say good morning when I get on the bus. Some seem to like it, and some don't. There is one middle aged gentleman who is always chipper. He greets you as you get on the bus and as you exit. He seems very nice. But, I think I know his pet peeve. We had turned onto the street my office is on and had made a stop to let people off. I guess someone was walking across the street while they were talking on their cell phone. He starts yelling at them to get off their phone while walking across the street! He is going to town fussing at them! I can't hear all he is saying to them and don't have a clue why this would bother this seemingly nice fellow. Tell ya what, I dare not pull out my cell phone when he is my driver. Is there some law or something that went into effect that I am not aware of?
I would like to issue an allergy season disclaimer. I myself am an allergy sufferer. I understand the woes of this plight. But there are rules people!!!!! Simple rules that they teach in pre-K to little children. The rules still stand!!! One inparticular that needs to be strictly adhered to. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, cough into your sleeve, or anything else that is yours and will shield us from your germy nastiness! I had a guy right behind me hacking up a lung and wasn't trying to cover it up at all. The only things that kept going through my head (except for OH GOD I'M GETTING SICK) is a mental picture of the mucus family from that Mucinex commercial flying out of his mouth and landing on my head. Those things scare the crap out of me. I turn those commercials as soon as I see them! GAG AND NO THANK YOU! I would much prefer for Mr. & Mrs. Flem to stay with you!
Sometimes when I acknowledge to myself that something is annoying it starts to become a HUGE pet peeve that ends up just really making me crazy (like when I acknowledged the annoying sound my hair dryer makes when I cut it off...sounds like an airplane descending. Now I can't NOT think about that when I cut it off). Case in point - the parking garage at the Metro station where I live is really very nice. EXCEPT it has A MILLION speed bumps in it. AND they are the double ones where you drive over two that are side by side and then immediately hit two more that are side by side. They are so frequent too! I counted the other day and there were over 20 some odd speed bumps from where I park to the exit. Seriously! And good lord, if you don't hit those suckers straight on and go sideways just a smidgen, the double speed bump situation will give you brain damage and knock a few parts off your car! I wonder if there is a candid camera somewhere just watching us dummies go over all those things?? Not gonna lie, once I started thinking about this each day, I started watching the movement of the people going over them in front of me and boy is it entertaining! I know - doesn't take much to keep me entertained!
Not sure how many people will catch this....but.....I am CERTAIN that Mokiki works in downtown Houston! I have seen him several times! And although he WAS NOT doing the sloppy swish, his distinct appearance is unmistakable. You think he gives out autographs?
And last but not least - REASONS WHY I'M NOT COOL.....
There is a gentleman who rides my bus line who must have the same schedule as me. We end up on the bus morning and night at the same time. He is very friendly. We chit chat in line and will sit and chat on the bus from time to time. He works right down the road from me and needed to drive in one day and his usual people that ride with him so he can take the HOV lane were not available. He asked me if I would be interested in riding home with him one particular day. So I said sure no problem! He picks me up and we shoot onto the HOV and are at the bus stop to get my car in no time. He is a very nice guy and easy to talk to so we chatted it up. He pulls around to the front of the Metro parking garage to let me out and as I am saying goodbye and gathering my things I start to step out of the car. When I did, my shoe gets caught up and I step right out of it. Its on his floorboard and I am standing outside! I had to stick my foot back in his car and retrieve my dang shoe before I could close the door. REALLY, whats the deal??? Stuff like that barely phases me and he didn't acknowledge it very much so I scooted past it. But had I been him and seen someone do that I would have cracked up! Lesson - get new shoes this is becoming a habit!
Well, although I am not the story tell I can sometimes be.....now you are up to date! Anyone else have the sloppy swish stuck in your head????
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